Petal Talk
by missprint
Summary: A series of one-shots, centred around Shikamaru and Ino, with each chapter being based on the meaning of a flower. /Chapter 1- Viscaria: Will you dance with me?/ In which Shikamaru learns that charity balls are the work of the devil.


**Author's Note: **This is a series of one-shots. They're not done in any particular order, and some of them may be AUs, so the separate chapters aren't necessary related, apart from the fact that they're all based around flowers.

This chapter mentions a ball; if you'd like, you can think of this as an AU, or, if you want to suspend your disbelief that ninjas can have balls, then that's fine too. At any rate, I hope you enjoy the story!

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**Viscaria** - Will you dance with me?

"Whoa, whoa, be careful," Shikamaru had to move quickly to grab Ino's arm - she'd nearly fallen flat on her face for the fourth (or was it fifth? he'd honestly lost count.) time this evening.

"I'm fine," she insisted, before emitting a string of giggles.

"I sincerely doubt that." Shikamaru knew for a fact that Ino was completely and utterly drunk; that was the main reason he'd suggested getting some fresh air - undoubtedly Ino would have made an idiot of herself in front of everyone and would then spend the subsequent week yelling at Shikamaru for letting her embarrass herself. After all, the Black Tie Ball was a big event, meaning that there were tons of important people there, who probably wouldn't be amused by Ino's drunken antics. Konoha held the function every winter to raise money for a different causes (although, Shikamaru wasn't exactly sure what this year's "worthwhile cause" was - Ino was a little hazy with details, and was seemingly more interested in the bar). Although Shikamaru hated these kinds of things, his friends had persuaded him to join them (i.e. drowned him with comments like "It's for charity!", "Think of the children!", and one that was a down-right lie; "It'll be fun!"). It was a big deal (which cost a small fortune to get into, and who knew how much of that would _actually_ go to starving children, or dying animals) - a big band, fancy outfits, a silent auction, and, of course, a bar. Whilst Ino wasn't _technically_ allowed to _buy_ drinks legally, she'd managed to convince a large number of guys (who Shikamaru pitied- he knew pretty well that Ino could do a lot of damage to a man's wallet) to buy drinks _for_ her and Sakura. Shikamaru wasn't sure exactly how much she'd had to drink, but when Ino had conjured up the idea that it might be fun to put her name down on the silent auction for a twenty-four-caret-diamond-emblazoned tiara, Shikamaru had decided it was time to go for a walk.

So, here they were, walking through the forest behind the hall, although admittedly it would be hard for anyone to call what Ino was doing _"walking"_. She stumbled along in a sloppy kind of zigzag fashion, nearly tripping over every other tree root that jutted out of the ground, meaning that she had to grip Shikamaru's shoulder every five seconds, nearly dragging him down with her. Shikamaru wasn't sure how Ino had managed to get so drunk in the short amount of time they'd actually been at the ball, but he could tell she would have one hell of a hangover in the morning; and it would serve her _right_, he thought, as he felt his shoes step in something unpleasantly squidgy.

Luckily, it was not excrement, he observed, looking down at his shoes cautiously. They had, instead, reached a particularly muddy part of the forest which Ino was not amused by in the slightest.

"I can't walk through this!" she whinged, throwing her arms up in desperation, and then turning to Shikamaru, who had already begun to walk across the mud. "Carry me."

Shikamaru didn't turn around, and pressed his tongue to his teeth in irritation, "I'm not a drudge, Ino. You can walk."

He heard a few moans, and then, eventually, the sound of high heels squelching through mud. This carried on for about three minutes, Shikamaru choosing to completely ignore the swearing that Ino was, he presumed, albeit unsuccessfully, saying under her breath. However, apparently, there was only so much mud Ino could tolerate, and with a growl of frustration, she sat poignantly on a nearby log, and started wiping mud off her heels with some nearby leaves, "This isn't fair," she wailed, "I don't want to go home yet."

Shikamaru sighed; in fairness, they'd already been gone for a while, and the men who'd been buying Ino drinks had probably run out of money by now (which wouldn't be hard, considering that she hadn't exactly left them with much), "Alright, we'll go back."

At this point, Ino threw her hands up in the air again, "No, I'm not walking all the way back there again!"

"Well what do you want me to do then?" Shikamaru snapped, rubbing his forehead; he felt a migraine coming on (who needs a hangover when you have a bitchy, whiney female friend having a go at you?). He suspected he was getting a little rusty; for someone who always claimed to be at least three steps ahead, he certainly hadn't seen this one coming, and subsequently, had no idea what to do.

"My shoes are muddy," Ino rambled drunkenly to no-one in particular (Shikamaru was trying his best to ignore her, but the volume at which she was talking made this quite difficult). "My dress is itchy, and I didn't even get to dance! I went to a _ball_, and I didn't get to dance; that's injustice, you know-"  
Normally, Shikamaru would not do what he proceeded to do; in fact, normally, he wouldn't even _think_ about thinking about it. However, he'd analysed the situation, and all the possible actions he could take, and out of all of them (including knocking Ino unconscious and simply dragging her home - not entirely realistic, and just leaving her there - not if he wanted to keep his eardrums), this seemed the only option that was actually conceivable.

It was just a shame that it involved _dancing_.

Ino stared at the hand he'd nonchalantly reached out towards her as if it had grown out of his head. Shikamaru hadn't thought that this situation could be made any more awkward, but then again, Ino was always full of surprises, "One dance," he said, warningly, "And then you're letting me go home to sleep."

Slowly, Ino reached out and took his hand, as if still confused by his actions; not surprising, as Shikamaru was also a bit confused, but told himself that this was strategic thinking - if Ino got to dance, maybe she'd stop complaining, and then Shikamaru would _not_ have to return to the ball, and _maybe_, just maybe, he'd be able to go home and _sleep_. However, as Ino stood up, and they stood in awkward silence, "what now?" written all over Ino's face, Shikamaru realised that with all his thinking ahead, he'd forgotten to factor in the quite important piece of information that he had _absolutely no idea how to dance_. Luckily for him, Ino chose, at this point, to raise an eyebrow, and slur, "Well, aren't you going to put your hands on my waist?"

Shikamaru, grateful for the cue, obeyed and awaited further instruction.

Soon, Ino had lazily wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and began to sway slightly; for once, Shikamaru was glad Ino was leading something. They would have been in an awkward silence if it had not been for Ino's whimsical and completely random humming - if there had been music, Shikamaru was sure they'd be out of rhythm. However, Ino had stopped complaining, and seemed rather content, so the primary purpose of this little exercise had been fulfilled. After a few minutes of dancing (if you could call it that), during which Shikamaru became increasingly glad Ino's head was on his shoulder, as he was sure he'd gone a delightful shade of rose, Ino let go of Shikamaru's shoulders. "Thank you," she said, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Shikamaru said, as nonchalantly as he could, suddenly becoming very interested in a group of trees to his left. In retrospect, he thought, the moment had been kind of romantic.

Or at least it would have been, had Ino not proceeded to throw up on his shoes.

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Don't drink and dance, kids!  
Also, alcohol is expensive, unlike reviews, which are totally free - treat me to one?


End file.
